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It's only been 97 weeks...... [24 Nov 2005|01:23am]
[ mood | excited ]

Hooooly sorry I fell off the face of the earth for a while I guess depression will do that to you LOL or maybe just those dipshit guys you meet and feel like its a good idea at the time to put everything off. Then 97 weeks later you snap out of it and just feel very, very confused.

There is sooo much to catch up on, I don't know where to start, but it's gonna take a few entries. Not startin now though I just wanted to touch base it's time to hit the sack and i'm sick but have to rest up for two majorevents tomorrow: 1) Thanksgiving dinner and 2) my 21st birthday celebration!!!! WooHoo!!! sooo yea i will be in touch more frequently G'nite all ;-)


ugh [13 Jan 2004|11:58am]
[ mood | confused ]

I dont even know if I want to update whats been going on in my life lately. Where to start? Im gonna go to middlesex for dental hygiene.. still workin at Jimmys.. umm gettin kicked outta my house.. stuff like that. Ever since I got home from school its just been weird. And my parents are trying to tell me when to be in by and al this other stuff and I just cant adjust. They dont like anything I do, hardly anyone I see, and just apparently hate the person ive bcome. How awesome is that to say about your parents. whatever. There is so much going on.. I am under so much stess.. and by this time next week I will be a full time worker AND full time student. I wasnt planning on workin full time but now it looks like im gonna have to come up with rent :\

I went to Laconia last weekend with Mikey, Holly, and Paul. It was a really good time but Id rather talk about it when Im in a better mood u know.

Just hung up with my mom and im gonna have to finish later cause i have to be ut by tonite peace


[29 Dec 2003|02:43am]
[ mood | depressed ]

so yea its only been like over 2 months since i touched this thing haha .. whats new lets see .. couldnt tell ya cause I DONT EVEN KNOW!! well im not going back to wsc next semester (cause a lotta things sucked) and left planning on doing a cosmetology program which turned out to be dumb cause if i did it id have to do the one that goes till like 4:00 to be considered a full time student, which would leave me with like only weekends to go to work HAHA NO WAY .. and that was the best sounding most reasonable program out of all of them so i dont think im gonna do it which leaves me with two options: 1) work full time and get insurance through afs and take like two night classes a week or 2) full time day student somewhere (at this point either middlesex or salem) and working nights and weekends, which im opting for cause we all know most of the money in waitressing comes from the pm shifts aaand i wont have to pay for my own health insurance which im probably not ready to yet. and whats the latest major?? nursing maybe.. im gonna try and set up an appointment with a counselor for tomorrow to see what i can take in the mean time cause i need to know what the hell im gonna be doing by the end of fucken this week geez.....

got my nose pierced yesterday. daddy doesnt like it but i loooove it so its ok. my mom just wished i waited till after my grandmothers 80th birthday party that my whole family was gonna be at, which was today and was awesome.

so nanny is 80 wowie .. it was funny cause we all lied and surprised her cause she didnt think anybody was gonna be there. auntie barbara told her she was driving down to north carolina to be with cousin robyn (so nanny didnt think she was gonna be around for her birthday) but in reality cousin robyn and her baby jonah flew up here so the three of them were here. i told her i got called into work and would see her later in the day, and my brothers and their wives made shit up too. she was so surprised i thought she was gonna have a heart-attack lol she couldnt even talk or put any words together for like 10 minutes and there were tears streaming down her cheeks it was cute though.. nice time.

havent updated even though everyones seen it it hasnt made it into my journal .. i got my third tattoo thanksgiving weekend - its on the inside of my right ankle which totally killed cause thats where all the bones and veins and shit are and it especially hurt while driving and bending the ankle owwie.. anyways its a cute little ladybug chillen in some grass. other changes to my body include the hrrible mistake of dying my hair what clairol calls rosewood.. at first it was like practically black with some red hues but it said comes out in 24 washes so i hated it so much i hopped in the shower and washed it 10 times then 15 the next day. and have been washing it 3 times every time i do it now and the fucken shit is still not out!! it is fading though so theres some hope for the blonde that i miss so much..

cant think of anything else worth mentioning .. sure itll come to me like the minute lay down in bed or something like that so theres always tomorrow or another two months who the hell knows gnite though lataz

3 loved me

riiiight...... [29 Dec 2003|01:42am]
[ mood | amused ]

soooo i guess nobody likes me anymore .. its ok tho dont worry about it i guess


[17 Nov 2003|12:53pm]
[ mood | drained ]

You know what you can take this fucking school and shove it. Nobody makes any fucking sense and everyone talks around in circles because they have no idea what the fuck is going on. Honestly, its a fucking college. Not a high school. They should be maybe just a little more professional than that level since they are the next level up. Ther is no shit together and they are heartless and cannot admit when they have made mistakes. Thought I would double check the rules and procedures of freshman having cars before I brought mine so after checking the website and it says that freshmen CAN have cars not to exceed 2 weeks per year as long as they pay a dollar a day. So I brought it back here thinking that I could because the fucking school website said I could. Only to get to public safety and be told that I couldn't? FUCK THAT... I mentioned the website and she said I had to get approved by some lady in friggen Ely across campus. Now wouldn't one think that the website should say "Under certain circumstances" or "If subject to prior approval" or any bullshit like that. But no, it simply said I could and appeared very hassle free. So I haul over to see this lady that rudely asks why I need my car. It's easier on my family number one so they dont need to tread two hours here only to tread another two hours home, they DO have lives you know. She was like parking has been really tight this year and thers no more places- being easier to leave is not a good reason. After I explained that I did not drive 2 hours here for this bullshit and NO WAY am I about to go home so my mom can bring me back then haul back home herself, and after she remarked that I should have gotten approved first, and after I said that its a good thing the website said that cause I wouldn't have known otherwise, she gave me the week. Which means Mom has to bring me back on Sunday. Which means a shitty birthday- not only is it a Monday night with nothing to do, but now I don't even have my car so I can't even go out ANYWHERE and have to stay in on a boring Monday night FOR MY BIRTHDAY, while everyone else got to go out and have an awesome time for their birthdays. Right.

Lets see what else.... School sucks. Not particularly Westfield State College, but just the concept of school with studying and tests and everything else has been bothering me lately. I want to go back to work and work my way up to management. So we have all these possibilities and I'm most likely sticking to: going home, going back to work, hospitality program at NECC. I don't know though. There's a lot of other stuff. I kind of got into things here and was feeling good for a while. Cheering is AWESOME and I have been waiting my whole life to do it because of conflicts during pop warner and high school. I really don't want to give it up, but logically why stay and be miserable over everything else because I enjoy cheering? That's wicked stupid. There's also Dave, which I will get to, but in short I'm picking up a vibe from him that if I go home it's not going to last.

Now.. Dave. Everything started off awesome. Like remember when I tried to describe it I said it was kind of like a dream and I was floating? I don't know what happened to things. Maybe I started being unhappy around here and turned bitchy? Maybe he just has little trust in me which makes me feel down? Maybe, maybe, maybe. There's millions of possibilities and I dont know which one(s) contributed but something went wrong somewhere. Which sucks. A lot. I don't know why, but I feel like a lot of it was me, which is horrible. But I'm sure there's no one to blame and things just kind of happened this way, but I just FEEL like it's me. So the day before we would have been together for a month, he decided "a break" would be a good idea. That's where we are right now and I don't really want to talk about it anymore.

Steve picked me up from the away game in Worcester on Saturday. He was supposed to actually go to the game and take some pictures for my parents since they couldn't go, but we all know Steve. Shit happens. Hey, at least he made it right when the game ended so I didn't have to wait for him, right? It was Laura's birthday and we went to his mother's house to spend time wit the family, after, of course, we went to the mall so we could get gifts for Laura. Aaand I had to get something for Haylee since I missed her party a few weeks ago and I have NEVER missed one of her birthdays. So we went there and Gayle had made THE BEST food (as always)- there was scallop pie, steak tips and filet, herb chicken, you name it... Then I hung out with Snow White for a while (that would be four-year-old Haylee in her awesome dress) until it was her bedtime.

Sunday I kinda took to myself, went to the mall and caught up with a lot of friends I have working down there. Got my eyebrows done, you know the usual. Jimmy's with the rentals for dinner OF COURSE. It was all good, till it was time to head back to WSC... and we all know what happened when I got here and went to get a temporary parking pass... Between being so pissed about that issue and confused about my general life, I'm ready to be done. Time to lay down...


[17 Nov 2003|02:49am]
[ mood | distressed ]

I havent been able to bring myself to write in this friggen thing lately.....

Fuuuuck when I finally decide to I look at the time and say well another time Im tired and have a 9:20.....

I have A LOT I need to discuss though so I will be back soon, my head hurts a lot lately I need to get some things off of my chest.....

Till tomorrow (hopefully)


[08 Nov 2003|02:12am]
[ mood | high ]

oh shit thats right im in college i knew i was here for a reason lol so i probably should have gone to my classes today. lol i have smoked tooo many days in a row its been great tho lol. tonite was awesome we went to the mall and stuff it was sooo weird to like walk around and stuff u know. then we were gonna see a movie but didnt and went back to jackies and watched down to earth ... at the end me and jackie were like "thats it?!?!" it was a horrible place to end it we thought ... i do wanna watch it again when im not high tho i bet it will make waaay more sense lol.

oh goody game tomorrow ... lisas not gonna be there and neither is one of the two captains aaand we have hardly practiced at all this week! everyone including my self is kinda freaking out but like in a calm way tho. i hope everything goes right tomorrow. and of course good luck to the football team they're doing awesome lately and we know we have another win verrrry soon LIKE TOMORROW hahaha

k gonna ruin outside and smoke a butt... call the boyfriend (the good one lol) jk i mean the ONLY one and hes an awesome sweetie :) i cant wait to see him tonite i hope hes comin over soon. then off to sleep to be well rested for the potential game from hell tomorrow jk everythings gonna be good girls!


Another Quote of Shame [04 Nov 2003|06:07pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

"I dont trust anyone" is todays inductee into the Dave saying stupid things hall of fame. RIGHT AFTER I ASKED IF HE TRUSTS ME!!!! what the fuck what the hell did i do??? i thought i would question why he is always looking through my phone and he said he wants to find out things now and doesnt need to hear shit down the road. I dont know if i can take too much of that! he then proceeds to tell me that I dont have a right to be mad ... no of course not it makes absolutely no sense for me to be upset about MY OWN BOYFRIEND not trusting me. and i say "How can u love me if u dont trust me?" and he said something that didnt make any sense i dont remember because I do remember coming back with "Love is built from a lot of things, trust included." i dont know. I just dont know what hes looking for :( but he said that he has never argued this much in his life and i said that maybe thats saying something. I DO love him but we DO fight A LOT and its just extra pressure i dont really need on my back and am positive he doesnt need either


Quotes of Shame [03 Nov 2003|02:40pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

"If I knew u were like that before we went out I would have said fuck it." AWESOME thing to say. I just kinda layed in my bed and rotted, cried myself to sleep last nite. Thats a really sensitive spot


[02 Nov 2003|10:22pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

WOW I really dont remember writing that entry yesterday! I do remember I was sittin here eating like TONZ of BK (my savior!)and screwin around a little on the computer, but not actually writing something, or looking up the words to Tuesdays Gone for that matter LOL. I started smokin at like 4PM and got in at like 4AM several drinks later ... it was an AWESOME night!!! Maaaann I forgot how fun partying was I guess thats what happens when u get sick and give it up for a while :P Its all good now tho as long as I keep up with my work which isnt too bad cause I handled it in HS, when I had to get up even earlier!

Things with Dave are going good ... we fight probably more than we should but over like workable stuff. I dont know why we do so much it seems like kind of a lot too. Hopefully its just cause we're still havin a new relationship and things are kinda settling? I hate disagreeing with him and hate even more to see him unhappy. And I know I can be a bitch which doesnt always work with people. I hope everything goes well with us. Some things tho just dont make sense to me- like little weird shit that doesnt even matter but since I find it weird I'll ask about it then get my ass chewed for opening my mouth and letting the small things bother me? Like tonite he went to work at 5 so around like 8:30 I send him a text just like I was thinking about u thought I'd say hi and I love you type thing. He doesn't write back so I figure he's busy- no big deal. But then when he calls at 9:00 he says he's been outta work since 7:00 and was just hanging out. So why couldn't he write back? So now I dont get it cause I ALWAYS answer when he calls and interrogates when I hang out. Its not that it bothers me, its just like what the fuck u know? Whatever tho I don't wanna ask. I think from now on I'm just gonna put the little stuff in here so I can get it off my chest that way I dont have to feel like a freak. Overall tho I am sooooo happy I met him and to be with him and I hope everything works out for us!! I love him :)

School's goin good I got a 193/200 on my history of jazz midterm, had some vocab quiz in english i should get back tomorrow but I was ready for it and think I did awesome. It was tough but I tihnk I did decent.

Hmm what else what else?? I dont even know I guess I'll go I wanna get high but have a paraphernelia to help me out with that :( and malden michelle isn't in the mood so I'll have to find something else to do... I have beers but they're at someone's house and does me nooo good. UGH!! Lataz


[01 Nov 2003|07:28pm]
[ mood | Lynyrd Skynyrd: Tuesdays Gone ]

LALALA I have all these crazy songs stuck in my head. I was gonan make an entry but im too wrecked to tihnk of stuff i was gonna say :P sooo i guess we'lll hafta waiut!LATAZ im partyinnn


lalala [22 Oct 2003|01:16pm]
[ mood | happy ]

haha i cut my bangs myself lol they dont look too bad tho! and dave likes em so its all good.

soo oh yea about dave, things are working out really well :) we're actually headin back to b-town this weekend so he can see my life- the houses and moving from hell, jimmy's, bhs, friends, etc... it should be good. he has an awesome family, and i feel like i am gettin along with them really well! everything is going great and kinda seems like a dream. a good one tho!

we saw texas chainsaw massacre the other night ... it sucked for the most part i was laughing at a lot of it. i was actually scared for maybe like 2 parts. and a couple weeks ago we saw rundown - that was actually good!

a couple nights ago i had a mixie and a shot with the roomies, and smoked like one bowl with doody and tim. wow lol i missed the concept of having been straight for two months and underestimated what that small amount of stuff would do to me - it was kinda embarrassing actually! but was a verrry good time nonetheless...

k i'll write about more stuff later i wanna get some foods


hmmmm [20 Oct 2003|09:25pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

well wellll i was gonna rwite a new longg enrty but nowe i jus wann adrink more so i will deal with thes thinsg and getem off my chest anhoter time ok byee


::melting:: [12 Oct 2003|03:05am]
[ mood | loved ]

Im fallin hard for him I dont care how long Ive known him. We just had the most important best conversation ever. I was scared about it honestly cause there were some issues to be covered (too private to mention)and everything turned out really good. I am literally floating around right now I have THE best feeling about things!! Well I actually have to float off to bed for a fun-filled double tomorrow (yes, again Im makin the dough tho)! If u decide to comment on this puh-lease let me say that I am aware of what is going on and I CAN see how things look so dont bother saying that its only been a week and that we're moving fast. Thanks thought for caring everyone really is a great friend to me and I do appreciate you sticking by me :) By the way feel free to leave "Im-So-Happy-For-You" comments!! I dont know if its possible to feel anymore loved at this point, but you can try!


Whew [11 Oct 2003|01:18am]
[ mood | loved ]

Yes its been a while sorry about that. Sooo meanwhile ... I MET A BOY!!! hes awesome - hes cute and sweet and nice and sincere and u name it. His name is Dave and guess how we met?? He delivered my pizza to my dorm and we hit it off from here! I know what your thinkin and noo hes not like a greasy gross pizza guy - you know I'm better than that! So that was actually just Sunday like a week ago and we have seen eachother everyday since. Until now cause I'm home for the weekend but we're seeing eachother monday when I get back. YAY :) I know it hasn't been long but we really do feel a connection and he likes me just as much. It feels sooo good! He gave me his class ring to wear on a chain around my neck since my fingers are too small ... how sweet. and I find out today that he paid like $285 or so and he really trusts me with it. He said he has to start somewhere - he really does say the nicest things. I've already met his parents which he says really like me so thats really good :) Soo everythings good in that department. Oh by the way Doody & Imey he may stay over Monday nite if thats OK with yous I rpomise we'll be good, lemme know.

Red Sox are doing awesome ... 1-1 right now in a best of 7 series with the Yanks. I believe, I mean really its been fucken long enough 1918 c'mon. So I tried to buy world series tickets today - was online for over and hour and repeatedly trying tocall Fenway for over an hour, no luck they finally sold out which SUXS. Know what suxs even more tho?? YANKESS SUCK!!!! COWBOY THE FUCK UP!!!

Sooo the last 2 weeks of makeup work have bene great! Ohh yeah - I'm almost caught up all I gotta do is read which is not too bad cause I dont mind the story Life of Pi it actually decent. Cant wait till everythings set - PARTAY!!

Aaaand Saturday the 18th is the next game. The parental units will be there (mainly to watch the cheering) and Dave gets to sit with them :) AWESOME that will be a fun day I'm sure we'll catch something to eat too or someting along those lines.

Then the next weekend I think he's taking me to B-town so I can show him my house, and my old house, and my Tewksbury house, and the high school, and Jimmys, and all that nice stuff. Maybe stay over. I dunno its in like 2 weeks i'll get back to ya.

Arrite guys I got a fun double ahead of me ... maybe seeing nephew Adam if time allows. It'll be a good day, but I gotta get the shut-eye or else it will be baaaad cause lately everytime I wake up I feel like a truck ran over me. Sooo without any further ado g'nite


what a fine saturday nite ... these walls are lookin REAL nice [05 Oct 2003|02:39am]
Two awesome wins today ... Westfield kicked ass at the football game at Worcester State (it was raining which kinda made things sucky to cheer but I'm over it), and the Red Sox finally got aa win in because if they lost tonite that woulda been it. It's too bad, however, that I was not able to watch beyond the eighth inning of the Sox game. I've calmed down since but I was so fucken pisse when it happened. I was in 103 with Piggy, Danny, Maggie, and Billy and we were all havin a good time and stuff. At one of the breaks I went to check my messages, took like not even five minutes, and the door was locked when I got back. We were talkin about superstition and stuff and I have a feeling that had to do with it (ie. Do they do any better if Laura's not in the room?) BUT GIMME A FUCKEN BREAK! cause they even said Ihad to wait 2 more pitches or something before I might be able to come in. I decided fuck that and jus headed back to my room. About 15-20 mins later I went and jus kinda tried the door again and t was still locked. So I went back i here again. I'm sorry, its different in like regular season or early in the game when I can get back to see the ending, BUT YOU DONT FUCKEN DO THAT WITH THIS TYPE OF GAME. Really, if they lost that would have been it so of course I wanted to see them win. Billy's IMing me tryin to apologize but reminding me of it is makin me really upset. I'd like to watch the sox somewhere else tomorrow to not chance that happenening again...

K Tom Tobin randomly invited me ova for pizza n I'm starvin so i think i'll take him up on that regardless of the time. I'll say whatever else I had in mind another time probably tomorrow

[27 Sep 2003|01:09am]
I did it. I sent a transfer application to UMass Lowell. I figured if things get better at school it's no problem to decline acceptance, but with rolling admissions its a good idea to get the thing in. Things weren't really even bad, so to say, just weird. I just kinda got this weird feeling I cant really describe and I jus dont want to be there. Like something's missing kinda. On top of it, being away from there, I'm sorta, not dreading, but definitely not looking forward to going back. And the more I've been home, the more I thnk about things. I jus keep thinking about how crappy some things are, like little stuff but the type of little stuff that there's a lot of so its like a big thing. First of all, I was never over the shot glass thing. Someone of high level at that school needs to wake the fuck up and if they think shot glasses should not be allowed in dorm rooms (which is fine) then they need to communicate with whoever the fuck sells them in the store! Because I feel as though anything sold in a campus bookstore is permissable for the students to own. I dunno, maybe I'm crazy. More little shit: we're too poor for fucken soap and paper towels in the bathrooms. That promotes awesome hygiene, lemme tell ya. No really, I have to pee so what do I need? Let me grab the soap, a towel, ohh dont forget the tech key... OK good to go! Instead of spending the money to put those stupid locks on bathroom doors so parents of the opposite sex have to bother someone in a nearby room to get in and take a leak, BUY SOME SOAP! honestly. How about the people asking for ID's at the desk? Of course I do not attend this school... I jumped one of the cheerleaders and stole her uniform, how does it look on me? No its cool that they do that, but at like 8 PM? Where are they at like 2 or 3 in the morning when actual rapers and robbers and all those mean people would most likely be sneaking in? I could go on and on and on ..........

Don't get me wrong though, I DO love the friends I've made. And if I leave you can damn well count on it I'll be back to PARTAY!! and catch up with my peeps. I love cheering too. I have always wanted to cheer and could never throughout my childhood for different reasons. I regret that. Maybe I like it so much because its still new to me? Im not really sure but I'm happy to be doing it right now. But you dont stay at a school you dont really feel for because you like to cheer for them. It's not that I dont like WSC. I'm just not feeling something. There's still time........

So tomorrow's family day. And the Jewish New Year. The original plan was to be there, but we're stayin here. We'll go to OUR services. And I'll get to see Mat tomorrow :) I only see him once a year around the high holidays. He's a sweetie. I wish I could see him more often, he's always been real busy though. Now he goes to Brandeis, on a sweet scholarship too. Thats funny I got a nice scholarship to a nice private school (Hartford) and still couldn't afford it! Oh well, look where I am now LOL nothin beats this!

Oooo oooo guess what?? I'm an auntie!! My awesome nephew, *Adam Jacob Greene* was born Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 04:10 PM. He weighs 8 lbs, 1 oz (I think I won that bet lol everyone was sayin 6 - 7 pounds cuz Tiff is so small). So I get to meet him tomorrow :) YAY Mom & Dad already went that day but I couldn't cuz I was still potentially sick. But the doctor said I could go this time hehe....

Still haven't heard from Steve. That's 3 days and counting. I'm not gonna call him, why should I? He obviously didn't care to check in when I was sick, because if he did he would have picked up the fucking phone and called. That's just really shitty that someone could be like that, especially him with everything we went through and how long we were together. We weren't even on bad terms and I really can't figure out why he would be like that. Well I'm not going to give myself a headache trying to think about him because apparently its a WASTE. It is depressing though I wont lie.

Guess I should hit the sack. It's like 2 and I gotta get up early. I've been getting 12 hours of sleep the past few nights and hope I dont get too used to that. I had like absolutely NOTHING to wear to services tomorrow! I came home last weekend with the intent of staying two nights; there was jackshit in my closet. It's straight though now. I feel like I have more to say, like sooo much more actually, but I cant pinpoint anything to write. There's always tomorrow I guess lol. OK getting tired so LATAZ

[25 Sep 2003|01:43am]
[ mood | tired ]

Kinda bored. I'm feeling wayyy better and still cant do anything tho for a while. I remember a few days ago I had to be spoonfed applesauce. LOL I really was dying I'm so glad I'm over that part it better not came back I'll fucken break something important. Doctor's appointment Friday... she better say it's ok for me to go out this weekend!! Then me and Mike are going to Bugaboo hehe and if our plans dont follow through this time he owes me [a fat bag] lol we already shook on it. AWWW YEA

Finally got my first visitor tonight, from Mikey Sullivan. We had pizza and chilled with mummy and Ben. I would have rather gone out but I guess beggars cant be choosers I was lucky to haveseen a friend at all being sick and such.

I love the forever long conversatons I have with Jason. They're not too common. I usually talk to Currie till 4:00 Am, sometimes Sully. Jay is very rare though.

Ok so about the school thing: I just dunno. I'm still not over the transition and understand it will be a while. But if I'm not by like March or April I think I'm gonna start with transfer applications. Because right now it's just cheering and friends and I don't think that those should be the only things I like about my school. I would like to be closer, I want my car (which I can have at WSC next year), I just dont know. There's still just kind of an awkward, indescrible, yet negative feeling about being there. So I've thought UMass Boston (I'd have to live at home it's a commuter school), UMass Loweel (EVERYONE goes there), Johnson & Wales (I LOVE Providence! I dont know why I changed my mind in the first place I bet they have soap and paper towels in their bathrooms) and I dont know. I gotta look into more stuff and it's still early yet.

Hey listen to this: I talked to Steve on Sunday (my WORST day). I was so sick I was like crying on the phone. So he was actually in town and was gonna try to find a way to see me. So he was gonna call back that day. He didn't. So he calls Monday andkinda apologized for not calling back and said he had gotten picked up and couldn't come see me (understandable since he has to rely on people for rides) and that he was going to work and would call me later. He didn't. I called late midday Tuesday and he was son his way out to get food and rushing to hang up so he could get food. I just mentioned that I thought he may have called to how I was doing since I was so sick the other day and that it kinda hurt my feelings and he said no offense but almost everything hurts your feeling and he would talk to me later cuz he hasnt eaten for 2 days and we know how cranky he gets when he doesnt eat. He said he would call me later. And didn't today either. Oh well ... I guess we know whats important to that selfish prick. Honestly if I spoke to someone that sounded the way I did I sre as hell would call them back the nexy day to check the fuck in!! The past shit was like kinda up and down, but thats really unforgivable I would say... Post a comment lemme know what u think about that please

OK ... nodding off... I guess 3:03 is a bad bedtime for potential mono LOL BAD LAURA lataz


About to punch the wall ... [23 Sep 2003|08:31pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I think I'm going to kick someone in the head if I'm not feeling better in...... like 5 minutes. NO: its not even missing classes and shitloads of makeup work, not even missing practice and cheering at games, not even losing my HUGE appetite and looking like an Ethiopian, and not even the fact that I have to stay in and look at the sunshine through the window all day :-( What pisses me off is the fact that I can be caontagious and my 9-month-pregnant-overdue sister-in-law is getting induced. Tomorrow. That's right: I will be a mere 1/2 hour away from my nephew that my parents are going to see as soon he gets home from being born, and where will I be? On the couch. Don't get me wrong I don't wanna get little Adam sick or anything but FUCK THIS get rid of whatever the hell I have right the fuck now so I dont have to wait like 3 weeks to see him!! Cuz once I get back to WSC, I'm pretty much stranded UGH

OK how was the weekend cuz I said I would when I was feelin a lil better which I am....
-Worked Fri PM and Sat AM and am now $165 richer
-Saw Sully very briefly as usual lol and he gave me a ride to the door
-Got my groove on lol dont ask if u dont know
-Finally saw 8 Mile (with Currie)
-Got Mummy to watch Super Troopers with me
-Boston Market with Mom and Nanny (my only meal so far lol)
-Lost like ten pounds but its the bad, sick kind of weight loss like I look like a little skeleton with skin ... it'll grow back I guess
-Watched the TRL video I was on (I'm so cute!!)
The rest is jus kinda boring ... MORE movies and about 36 straight hours of sleep at a time.

Sooo my mom actually said she doesn't think I'm gonna want to go back to WSC next year... I mean it HAS crossed my mind I'm not gonna lie but how the hell can she tell?? She's the one that told me I didn't want to be there too, which confuses me. She's like making me realize all these things it's kinda weird. Soo I'm KINDA lookin over all the stuff I did last year checkin web sites of a couple other schools and stuff, nothing serious though. But I think about that type of stuff a lot lately, like how I know nothing about what's around my school, not having my car to come and go as I please, the biggest thing is not working it's kind of a thing for me to be making my own cash. I know it's just a rough transition and am pretty sure I'll grow out of this attitude, but who knows.... doesnt hurt to look in case I dont grow out of it by like April.

Thats about it for now. The midnight pizza my parents ordered is here! I'm gonna try my luck at eating again: I did pretty well earlier - Spaghettios, apple, weight watchers meal, a hot dog (that was gross it was made with like turkey meat of something I almost gagged but I suffered through the whole thing) Sooo here comes the cheesy bread! Lataz

1 loved me

BBLLEECCHH!!!! [22 Sep 2003|05:27pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Being sick suxs :-( I guess its better tho that I'm home and with my parents then if I was suffering at school. But I have NEVER been this sick! The doctor thinks maybe mono, I really hope not. Seriously what the fuck?? I had 18 years I could have gotten it while I was living at home. BUT NOOO the minute I go off the school, that I have to fucken pay for, lets pick that time to get sick so I can miss all my classes since I am now 2 hours away fom them, instead of right down the street, because we al know what 3+ absenses will do to our grade, and miss practice my first year of cheering so I can get screwed out of games.

I'll write about the highlights of my weekend another time because i really feel like shit right now: I've been on benadryl every 6 hours round the clock ... do you know how much that knocks you on your ass? So yea its about that time for another nap, I had a big day - ate some garlic bread( forst thing in quite a few days), watched a movie, and broke out the laptop. Thats a lot of action for one day. Another time, hopefully later but I dont quite see it coming.


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